More than 3 weeks done in SCBU... Blog 8 4/11/09

So, this is Gracie’s 23rd day in SCBU, and she’s doing well.  She’s out of the incubator, and now in an incubated cot.  She’s drinking 28ml of my breastmilk every 2 hours, and breathing by herself.  I’m very proud of her.  The thing about having a baby in Special Care is the need to constantly manage expectations.  Just because your baby is doing well one day, doesn’t mean that there won’t be a setback the next day.  You have to be grateful for each little breakthrough, and celebrate that each day.  I must admit I’m always slightly nervous turning up each day – what if she’s back in the incubator?

Gracie now being in a cot is a little bit misleading.  It helps to normalise things, and she looks like a “regular” baby, just smaller.  But I then keep looking at her and wanting her home, but she’s not ready yet.  When I see her sleeping in her cot, I imagine her sleeping in a cot at home. When she was in an incubator, it was much easier to see and accept that she couldn’t come home. I can’t wait to be able to take her for walks or cuddle her in front of the telly!

I still don’t know how much longer she’ll be in for.  She’s at 33 weeks now, so I guess she’ll be in for a few more weeks yet, as she’s still being fed through a tube.  Breastfeeding will be the next step.  She’s gaining weight too, which is good.  She’s now 1.87kg (4lb 2oz), which is great.

I’m waiting for a delivery of some baby stuff today.  I’ve ordered a crib, a carrier/sling, and a buggy.  I’m not sure how I’ll feel about having all that in the flat, with no baby to put in them – hopefully it’ll help me to remember that she’ll be home soon.

People have been so kind throughout all of this.  It’s really nice to know that friends are so supportive.  Gracie already has lots of clothes bought for her, ready for when she’s a bit bigger, and so many people have offered help, it’s so nice.  It makes dealing with it all that little bit easier.  Mind you, this is our first child, so we don’t really know any different.  But everyone’s kindness, coupled with the fantastic nurses at the Unit, and it’s quite overwhelming sometimes.

I’m expressing 7 times a day for her – every 3 hours, but not in the middle of the night.  I will have to soon, but I’m waiting for as long as I can.  I am starting to struggle to produce the amount she needs, but I’ve got some milk frozen, so I’ve got a bit of time.

I’ve got a bit of a routine now at least.  I do things round the house in the morning, then go up to the hospital after lunch.  I usually stay until after my evening express, and it’s still really hard leaving her.  Still, every day that she’s in SCBU, she’s getting stronger and it’s another day closer to her coming home.